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BUTTER DUCK DAYS

by Euie b Graham

/
1.
In love I can't deny, with whom I can't describe Lost in language, thoughts and rhythms Moving through the dark The city in the sky, a make believe empire With cats and angels, sons and lovers Churning me up inside You can see them, never believe them Serenade then be rejected You never know them, never show them What it is that makes you special Girl, please write to me you're like a symphony trapped in my mind Girl. please don't go away, you're like a tourniquet around my heart Words of love abide, by rules I can't describe Cats and angels, moves and screens Searching in the dark I spy with my little eye a girl that's good for me... Blue the colour of innocence
2.
It's a sunny afternoon, butterfly's and cobwebs fly away No excuses for feeling under the weather Leaves sound like a round of applause. I'm writing you a letter, to a girl on the other side of town. That very special person, I'm yet to surely find - well never mind never mind. A north wind blowing through me Sometimes I think she's so unkind - one date two date fall Makes me feel three feet tall. I'm about to make a call A man of many vowels about to make a call with butterfly's and sweaty palms - sit and watch the telephone for quite a while. A photo is a big mistake, the end of words The birds are singing me a song Should I pick up the telephone?
3.
4.
A dreadful high gloss smile, whiplash feelings inside Saying "no tomorrow", thinking "open minded" Bashful sentence structure, signals non-believing Restless time watching, thinking "hope tomorrow" Butterfly painting, saying "open hearted" Wish list flight of fancy, thinking "no tomorrow" Insane machinations, keeping lists and numbers Watch the garden dying, thinking "no tomorrow" Laughing life a story, saying "open minded" meeting friends and strangers, feeling open hearted Pick up lines and smiles, signals non-believing Restless time watching, thinking "hope tomorrow"
5.
JUST LOOKING 03:45
In the heat of the fight, I want to get out Like a moth to a flame in this crazy old town I'm not anyone's hero, put a swag on my shoulders Make the lights of the city by morning If I was a travelling man, I'd probably leave. But I hold myself back in an attempt to achieve. If I was, somebody's man, I'd always treat her, the best that I can If i was a pretender, walk about like a stranger Pretend my life's just a peep show in prime time. I'm not asking for much - just someone to hold Feel the soft velvet touch of a curious girl If I was, a family man, I'd always protect them, the best that I can. Walk and talk like a cliche, a copy book chameleon, A soldier of fortune\, just looking
6.
7.
The last letter, full stop and kind regards Back to the closed world, back to the burnt pages Back to the bottles of wine. The soft etherial tinkle of wind chimes. Memories like a bus pulling away, growing smaller every day. The last letter is a clue, a dismissal, a wave of the hand Not so much as a goodbye. The silent reproach is so hurtful My barren eyes, seeing nothing in particular Just a suspicious world Excuses on little pieces of paper, carrying names of people you will never know. Blame it on the bottles of wine. Put it all into the fat, pull out minimum chips for your shoulder blades The last letter is a curse A memory, a moment, a world of make believe.
8.
LOST 02:57
Hide in a wardrobe, lost in the shower - lost No one can find me, I am incognito - lost. Live like a hermit, speechless for hours - lost Disconnect the phone, your laughing on your own again - lost. Listen to your favourite CD Bringing up your grandiose ideas With just the trees and birds and rocks and fly's for friends No better company could help you make amends for all you've done. Soft as a feather, floating forever - lost Walk about the house an incarcerated ghost machine - lost. Lighting a candle, stars in the high dark - lost. The flame inside your eyes shows a master of disguise now - lost.
9.
ISLAND 03:39
10.
BIG FEELINGS 02:28
What can I say to you Is there anything you'd like me to do? Maybe take these big feeling and throw them away? Anything to help you sleep at the end of the day Anything to help you sleep. What should I write to you? I don't mean to cause to harm, it's true So shall I take these big feelings, and hide them away? Leave them in a cupboard just waiting for a rainy day.
11.
RATAPLAN 03:32
The beating in his head case, sad about the waste of space living in the desperate corners of his open mind The monotonous beating of a heart drum Taking in alcohol, waiting in the shade of foreign park trees. The sound of drums is poison to his black eyes Ears only for the screaming of the sacred cockatoo sentinel. Cool wish that the diamonds come with ya. Mechanical heartbeat thumping like a tight drum Take away the pain, making him more than a stranger, on the sidewalk. Listening to shopping trolleys that sound like red rattlers on the home line. He wishes to leave the visual world and succumb to the maddening beating drums. The thumping in his head belongs to a ritual for the dead The clouds are gathering to wash away his tears.
12.
WIRILDA 02:50
Tonight, the trees are talking of love and desire Tonight, I'm trying to rekindle this fire Don't call me cupid, don't call my love I'm not from heaven up above Don't call me clever don't call me cheap I'm not something you can keep I'm not some man on the prowl Searching for some old forgotten tune, on my tongue I can't say what this means Stand, the accused you have used all your charm and now you've gone. Tonight, I'm trying to imagine how you sing Tonight, your words are jewels from a diamond fire tail wing.
13.
SLIP AWAY 02:51
I gave you everything, only to have it thrown back in my face I even gave you a diamond ring Only to have to fish it out of a lake I'm going to slip away, and figure out who I am I need to slip away, a knee jerk reaction. I seem to cause you injury Every time I open my big mouth If what you're looking for is sympathy I guess I'm saying that I've found a better life A brighter stranger world, a life of invention Where no one knows my name Just another stranger Watch me slip away, to find some protection I need to slip away, hitch hike away from here I'm going to slip away, leave behind disaster
14.
Only when I'm dreaming does my mind connect with those kinds of people Walking like a wish list desert island cue for perfect isolation Only when I'm dreaming does my heart become a callus sound in motion Sitting in the corner like a naughty school boy paying for attention Feeling lonely never felt so cold Taking time to walk away from mirrors and wishing pools The thinking corner is a place I go To lose myself in a landscape of imperfect sobriety
15.
Butter Duck Days and restless nights, thinking about the weather Watery thoughts and aimless eyes, doesn't make it better I'm writing you a letter. It's a funny thing, that shakes me down, windowless and shallow. If there be a beam in thine eye, cast it out to others Like lonely sons and lovers Scratch away through me, reveal someone better Open arms and pale blue tears Catch a wave and vanish, brushed and bushy tailed Dawn the hour of forgiveness comes.
16.
And the hero knows the game, he's practising all the time And the scenery is still the same, but he's trying to draw a line Because he's found someone to love It's happening all the time But this girl is a peaceful dove, eyes like diamonds And the little girl is afraid, because she's been hurt before But if life is just a stage She's willing to take a fall Because his eyes shine like the sun, in a lunar landscape And if affection is to love what minutiae is to life Yes please, yes please - serenade me Yes please, yes please - take me by the hand Yes please, yes please - whisperings of love Yes please, yes please - I'm on fire Some students, find it so hard to learn Some people, don't know which way to turn Some stories, are written in the sand Some heroes, fail to understand.

about

This album charts a year of internet dating, as I moved from a solitary life to a more peopled existence. The songs are often wistful and wishful, exploring feelings of rejection, aspiration, inspiration and isolation. The process of recording had become quite complex many songs made up of 20 plus tracks, but I have paired back in remastering to reveal a simple heart.
Musical influence at this time was varied and resting on whim. The airwaves seemed to be filled with music integrating an 80's pop aesthetic with contemporary electronica and guitar sounds such as bands like Gerling and Regurgitator. While I was trying to make the music more commercial and accessible, I was still interested in achieving a mood and strangeness, blending personal and invented narratives.

credits

released December 1, 2002

All songs written and recorded by Euan B Graham at his Newstead studio in 2002. Recorded using Sound Edit 16 software, mikes and guitars plugged directly into back of a power mac tower and painstakingly transferred to garage band as aiff files.

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Euie b Graham Canberra, Australia

Ending formal lessons on violin, I began writing songs in 1992, graduating to a four-track cassette recorder shortly after, and the addictive journey of composing then recording was entrenched. I continue, assimilating influences and forging my own way. I shy away from performing, I write, record then move on. I would love others to listen and enjoy, and hold out hope that I May find an audience. ... more

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