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DISTANT STAR

by Euie b Graham

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1.
Foundling 03:53
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Fly, from the cage that contains you Think like a bird on the wing Sing with the courage conviction Dance with the currents on high Fly from my boot heals Colours of a prism in face count the cost oh Correct the down turn and odor of failure And the sharks that circle Summon a problem to solve The chatter will soon unfold High above the people and all of their steeples Fly,Fly,Fly, from a world that’s lost it’s bearings Fly…
2.
Mainstream 02:46
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In the mainstream – you can meet a lot of people In the mainstream – you can always ask for favors In the mainstream – you can sell a useless product In the mainstream – you can bask in hope and glory Well I’ve never been in the mainstream, only in the tributaries My contribution is a laughing stock, like a jester or a fool of sorts In the mainstream – you can write your own story In the mainstream – you can find a new perspective In the mainstream – you can make a lot of money In the mainstream – you can make a lot of choices What can make me feel this way? Brush and colour my encroaching grey Tooth sparkle after glow, glitter bug snail Puppy eyed, wallet faced, waging my tail But I’m a puddle duck, a laughing stock, a clown in civi’s High priest of the uncouth A colossal mistake, a wearisome bore I thought I had something, I thought I had something, But I guess I was wrong
3.
Blue Curtains 05:01
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The moment comes, lying low, in hospital, the curtains blue I try to sleep, I try to call, I’m here alone, no help at all The blinkered staff, in the corridors, professional, desensitised Body is shaking wild, head like a frightened child Who can validate my condition in this hour of need I want to go home I want to feel like myself again Not smothered by hospital blue With each mistake, take a heavy fall To mend my ways, I must be sure The time has come, to face the day A heavy heart, be on my way (from hospital) The sound of pain, fills the room Raw and tender, sympathy Something broken, deep inside me, deep suspicion, I can feel
4.
Finest Hour 04:15
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In my finest hour I can see everything, aware of the smallest things In my finest hour, under the spell of the shower I can find clarity, drenched in serenity I can talk for hours, but at people, not with people Talk inside my head, like a lecturer on a proverbial soapbox In my finest hour, I am alone inside, nurture a kind of pride In the ivory tower, in my finest hour the future is a golden place an open and shut case I’m an open book, a long sad face, an earnest smile, a country mile
5.
Spaces and Places 05:37
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The quiet glow of a night street light - takes me to a place inside The flooding light of a kitchen bright – like the clean set walls of a Star Wars site When the sun, fills me up like a three course meal I feel alive The shallow dreams of a stage lit play, work their magic in a different way When the lights go down in a theatre, it makes me see why I trusted her I’m surprised at my gentleness, I feel alive Like a ricochet from an acoustic chamber with high ceilings and white walls Like a fairy tale with a never ending story line A full moon might mean a bad dream night The cow jumps over and the dish runs away with the spoon Inside my car no one can touch me or infect me Inside my head, complete control is never sober I’m feeling ever so small, in these lonely spaces (repeat)
6.
Light Under a Bushel 04:34
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Lifelines ingrained in the palm of my hand I feel so restrained when it comes to blowing my horn I sit in a state of ore I look back at days of yore Self-doubt fills me up inside Makes me want to run and hide All of the ways that I can hurt myself And all of the days I want to be someone else Sadness stains like an iron brand Kindness fails at my command Past on, through time and place In the end we fight our nature, can’t pretend to be who we’re not
7.
White Walls and Dreams 04:27
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It may be too hard to comprehend It may be too hard to find a voice When you chose to start again And prevent the fall of the axe The voices of ridicule have mustered their strength And in a gesture reciprocal I gather reasons to jump Inside I feel sadness – for the dreams I left unhatched The white walls that surround me , ask for more than I can give now Take a chance and begin, there’s a new world to explore Take a leaf and a pen like a Huckleberry Finn You must never give in, strive until the final fall We must never give in, we shall strive until we fall With my family beside me, I feel ten feet tall Squish mellow pillow behind me, a couch to cushion the fall They say blood is thicker than water Genetics to answer the call Turn the page of a diary, sail to a distant shore
8.
Remote Control 03:45
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Goose step like a soldier on remote control Swimming in oblivion losing control Reaching out for help, to gain control Cipher for the news cycle, being controlled I feel like a puppet on remote control An animated avatar losing my mind Following the heard walking in the line Counter culture beckons from a distant time Carve out my own way, having too much to say Feeling up and down today I feel like a puppet on remote control Following a pattern I cannot avoid Paying too much money for a house of cards A textbook case of misgivings - losing control Losing control, I’m losing control I’m losing control (repeat)
9.
Moon of a Sun 03:01
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The sea peaks are high tonight The white water scrum is fierce tonight The swell of the jagged scrolls, is high and emboldened tonight They dance and they cry tonight Dancing and shaking and staking their claims They fly across the ocean wide Tethered to emptiness tears inside Gait - like a clown, when we fall to the ground Crying and panting tormenting the furniture You may be a million miles away But your words are so hurtful If it weren’t for the map forlorn of your heart – I could die Just want a new start Let go of my hand you sleeping sound For it’s the night which brings much mercy Forgiveness and light, patience and courtesy And as for the other one, I’m just his son I cannot be counted. Just the moon of a sun (repeat)
10.
Netflix Killed The Video Star 03:56
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I remember watching all the TV shows We watched countdown, The goodies and Dr Who When I was young they couldn’t stop you coming through Then I watch you play on my old VCR 2001 always seemed so long and far When I could dream about being a super star Netflix killed the video star (repeat) Technology has grown throughout the years Leaving some behind, full of fear I remember how the jingles used to go Video easy then could always steal the show Netflix killed the video star (repeat) And now we walk past an abandoned video store The shelves are empty and there’s nothing on the floor But we remember how we used to beg for more You were the first one, you’ll be the last one Netflix killed the video star (repeat)
11.
Long Cold Gaze 03:13
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When my intensions are not good And there’s an ache inside my chest that destroys me I take a long cold gaze at life, and my failings are all I see It destroys me To talk the walk of the brave is futile Because my worthiness escapes me The sour dreams of the past, envelop me, consume me If I take a long hot shower maybe I can wash away the ugliness When my feelings are so dark The shadows will become me, consume me I take a long cold gaze at life, and my failings are all I see They destroy me Is it selfishness or just self-indulgence? When Money’s hard to find, I waste my time creating useless nothings
12.
Kaleidoscope Days 05:46
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With dappled street eyes I see, mysterious ways to be Kaleidoscope days pass by, copybook rules don’t apply My hip pocket nerve is aching again The memory chain is making a sound It’s time to find out all of the needs I ignore It’s time to take stock of all of the seeds I have grown The weather has turned around again Following all the latest trends The cycle always takes me by surprise Arresting my blue day dream eyes The comical aspiration clues Indicate it’s time to pay my dues Under cover of darkness, I connect with my old self In the shadow of a cold doubt, I curl myself up inside Inside I sit on a thrown, dilapidated all alone Beguiled by changing the scene, afraid of what this could mean Last time I sat down and I counted what I own It’s not for wealth or gain my heart is over flowing I treasure moments that bring forth a happy feeling Like looking forward past the windows and the ceilings Windows and ceilings, recount those dappled feelings My hip pocket nerve is aching again These feelings inside I can't explain Imagination is a world within a world I cannot wait for all the wonders to unfurl The ladder rising takes us to a wider view It gives me hope to recreate the world a new The silence of the night belies my waking dreams I try to block it out with my crazy schemes It’s time to take a fall, before the morning sun You can’t walk before you crawl, before the money gun I don’t believe in fait, we decide which way to go Courageous conviction, is our only saving grace Windows and ceilings, recount those dappled feelings

about

I feel ambivalent about this musical collection as it straddles highs and lows in my life. I have tried to create a polished product with the equipment I have that captures all the tensions and visceral webs of feelings and creativity as it relates to life and the events that determine my mood and aspirations. I am driven to connect to an audience by virtue of an inner necessity, though acknowledge that I am not able to achieve much success on account of my nature.
The music here is a mixed bag, that I hope may embolden thoughts, expunge hurt feelings; pay tribute to important music and peel back fleshy parts to reveal insights we share reluctantly at times.

credits

released November 6, 2021

All music written recorded and performed by Euie b Graham between September - November 2021

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Euie b Graham Canberra, Australia

Ending formal lessons on violin, I began writing songs in 1992, graduating to a four-track cassette recorder shortly after, and the addictive journey of composing then recording was entrenched. I continue, assimilating influences and forging my own way. I shy away from performing, I write, record then move on. I would love others to listen and enjoy, and hold out hope that I May find an audience. ... more

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